Where Is Jenny McCarthy's CinderFELLA???

So, being that it is now 2012, there are many relevant topics that I could choose to discuss; presidential candidates, the Mayan prediction that the world is about to end, etc.  But do you want to know what is really weighing on my mind? 

That NYC cop that gave Jenny McCarthy "the smooch heard around the world" on New Years Eve.  If you didn't see it, take a look at this video and then get back here.  I'll wait... OK, so now you are up to speed.  That video didn't even show the half of it.  That kiss lasted longer than it took to spray Dick Clark orange.  Ever since then, people have been wondering, who is this mystery man that had the honor of locking lips with one of Hollywood's most gorgeous celebrities, only to disappear again after the strike of midnight like some kind of reverse Cinderella?  Perhaps we should call him "CinderFELLA"!  Instead of a glass slipper, Jenny can search New York City for the man whose holster fits the 9mm Glock that was dropped in Cinderfella's hasty dash home!

I have seen this story run on countless t.v. stations, and it is all over the web.  Jenny herself appeared the next day on a morning talk show and said, in what appeared to be only a half-joking manner, "if he's out there, please get a hold of me!".  Now I ask you, why would the guy who was brave enough to lock lips on camera for what seemed like an eternity and then stand there with a goofy look on his face giving an interview afterward shy away from this invitation?  I mean, he seemed to like her, given the fact that he sucked on her face for an embarrassingly long length of time.  She has stated that she loved the kiss.  So where is he?  Why hasn't he come forward?  What could possibly keep this guy from the limelight he so obviously craves and possible true love with the beautiful Jenny McCarthy?

As someone who comes from a family of cops, I can hazard a guess.  My guess is that this guy is at home counting down the days until his suspension from the NYC Police Department is over.  I mean, cops and firefighters alike are notorious for being disciplined quickly and harshly for the slightest infraction or indiscretion committed while on the job and wearing a uniform.  And here is this goofball, supposedly protecting a crowd of thousands standing smack in the middle of terrorist central during the most symbolic, televised moment of the year (i.e. prime time for an attack by any number of nutsos and fanatical groups), and instead of doing his job, his eyes are closed and he is swapping spit with some chic ON LIVE T.V.!  And just in case that didn't seal the deal with his higher-ups, he makes sure to look into the camera afterwards with a self-satisfied "yeah, I just did that" look on his face, and babble something about fireworks!  Heeeelllloooo, Officer Kissy-face, you can't do that when you're on the job!

So, I implore you, I've just gotta know, if anyone knows Cinderfella, will you please tell me whether he still has a job?  Thanks!